Monthly Archives: May 2009


I am upset. I am selfish, i am not the nicest person in the world. I am still not important to you and i wonder if i ever will be.


Current Obsessions.

Finding a job. I needs one like woah. But where? Doing what? For how long? Will i be going back to school in the fall? which leads to way to many questions and makes my brain hurt so i just go lay down. I have a fear of running cash registers, people make me nervous in the i don’t want to let you down so i’ll tell you whatever you want to hear way. I also speak my mind and say things i shouldnt to people, mostly in their favor because it all reverts back to not dissapointing people.

Clutter.-There’s too much of it, what to throw away? I need more garbage bags. Every designated get rid of shit day turns into how much longer can i get away with sleeping day.

Exercise.-How i feel guilty for just eatting today and not exercising, but i did paint the kitchen some more and crawled into this one lower cabinet to paint it and felt like a little kid. Wished i had a flashlight, and someone to play hide and go seek with.

Camera.– I would really like a new Cannon EOS, or another version of it. SLR camera. I am not the best but i would like a good quality camera… Swoon.

Blogging.-How to be a good blogger? Documenting life? and the everyday occurrences? How i keep trying to make it to Blockbuster and never quite make it because it’s ACROSS the bridge….so far…how will i ever make it. The Husky that now lives above me and i can hear digging at the BRAND NEW carpets the installed today, now those won’t fucking last long. I need to speak to the owner about it. I even offered to walk the dog for that extra ounce of energy it has.  But i am just not dog walking material i guess. I only walked three dogs at a time a few months ago. Two huskies and a lab, and lived to tell about it! I only had a huge lab mix and a small terrier mix for 11 years, it was kind of rude to be turned down. I completely understand but still… damnit your dog has too much energy and i want to get my dose of puppy luv.

In other news. My counter part will be back in…two weeks!! or i mean…one week six days!


worked out and….AND yogged 3 miles today. which is a combination of running and walking but mostly walking. got in a good mile of running though, which is more than i’ve done in years. I think i will stick to biking though because i can get up to about 14 or so miles without getting a blister but still get my heart rate up and it’s a lot more enjoyable.

in other news….everytime i change the litter box my cats go in and rearrange every single particle of litter. i’m glad it’s one of those enclosed boxes or i’d go through so much litter and vacum so much i’d consider training them to poop outside, yes while on a leash…the guy across the street walks his cat why can’t i?


So today was nice to go running and not die. It was a light at the end of the tunnel. I also did the 30 day shred and that made me feel like a bad ass for running AND shredding. How awesome of me.
Since running was so successful i would like to keep it up and run in Portland. But it helps to be on a track so i think i might go to the field by deering oaks and jog around there. maybe bring my ipod next time for company.

It’s also funny how i noticed how my taste in music changes frequently. i actually like hip hop rap stuff? not sure what to classify it as but i feel like a bad ass driving around in my god awful beat up poor car whilst listening to rap. damn.

also, was thinking of juice fasting for a day.  to cleanse. seems like fun, probably won’t be.