Monthly Archives: November 2009

Conversation of genius.

I recently called someone about an apartment for rent. An elderly gentlemen picked up the phone and said yes the apartment was still for rent.

I then asked a few questions and he answered most of them, until i got to the part about pets.

me- “so are cats allowed”

him-“i dont know what that is”

me- ” a caaaaaat, you know a feline, four paws and a tail”

him- “yeah i still dont know what that is”

me- “C as in camel, A as in apple, T as in Tree”

him- “Is that some kind of section 8 low income housing thing?”

me- uh no, it’s a PET like a doooog only not, it’s a CAT, oh nevermind”


The long and the short of it.

The short. People suck.

The long. People are selfish immature jerks.

Explanation- I’m alone, utterly and completely alone. Which whatever 80% of the time i’ve come to terms with that, but i am tired of dealing with jerks the other 20% of the time. The ones i need to interact with. Namely my mother, and the we will just call him papa bear. After looking at the apartment today it’s gonna be har to live anywhere else. That place was amazing. Come to realize. I cannot afford it. Fuck my life. Perfect size, enough room for a studio, two bedrooms. GREAT location.  Le Sigh.  Pipe dreams.

I ran out of steam for this post.

I will finish it later.

Searching for Apartments

So I have been searching for an apartment for the past oh two weeks now. It’s not the first time i have ever searched for an apartment and it definitely will not be the last. That being said my eyes are burning from all the reading I’ve done about the information that people don’t include in their ads. Yes it’s nice your apartment for rent is sunny and “spacious” But that doesn’t tell me jack shit about how many rooms there are, a real kitchen or a tiny ass stove with an even smaller area of counter space. So if anyone has an apartment for rent under 800$ in the west end of Portland, Maine please tell me ASAP

Rule of thumb for people writing the ads:

-Tell me where the apartment is, Especially what part of town, and KNOW what part of town it is in, Don’t lie i’ll look it up on google maps.

-Tell me whats included in the rent, heat? hot water? anything you cheap bastards?

-Pets? Allowed or not? BE SPECIFIC, Don’t have exorbinate pet deposits either, i saw one for 300$, for a 9 month lease. Now unless i am training my cats to be ninjas or chefs there is no need whatsoever for that big of a deposit. Ridiculous.

-Don’t list a studio as a one bedroom, if the rooms are not seperate than it’s a studio. and DONT charge nearly 700$ for it either. If i am going to live in a postage stamp sized hell hole i refuse to pay that much.


i’ve already failed.

At this write every day thing. I guess i shouldn’t vow to do anything. Something about not having internet at your apartment will do that, and if i wasn’t so tired to walk home to go to bed. which you know is evil.  Someone should just drive me home. Which you know wooont happen. I’m too busy growing something (see below) to blog. Hah what a lame excuse. I’ll blog extra extra tomorrow, pinky promise.

This is why i am tired.

Uh I am making a person.


Baby Bear 12w1d

I am looking to move by the first of the month, to a nicer neighborhood mostly. I am really sad to have to part with my tall people countertops…oh boy the AMAZING amount of countertop space i have that is all mine. It’s a really hard thing to give up. And the cabinet space. The real looking kitchen as opposed to all the ones i’ve looked at that are frankenstein cabinets with a freakishly placed useless cabinet on a weird wall and tiny tiny postage stamp of a counter top. It honestly makes me want to cry. The ghost of Elvis also dispaproves.

Take your vitamins Mizz Dirty Hooker.


well it’s the first day of November and i am going to try and do that write every day of the month thing.  But it’s just one of those days where you want to stare off into space and contemplate how a piece of apple pie warmed in the oven will magically appear next to you. With vanilla ice cream of course. Today’s highlight though was when all my aunts came to see me. We went out to brunch at Caiola’s. Despite what they were really there for it was nice to see them. My family rocks. I had veggie eggs Benedict, but OF COURSE they never put enough hollindase sauce on. Despite this snafu, which you know the alloted amount of sauce is really not a pick deal I’m just greedy. The toast was amazing and the veggies very well cooked. The home fries were equally tasty. It seemed to be a really reasonable meal price wise, and no body complained, which knowing my family that says something! Everyone should go and check it out.


I think i pissed off my mail man or lady. They kept putting stuff i didn’t want in my mail box and i kept putting it back in the out bin. They obviously couldn’t  get the hint and it was a full on war with the postal service. I conceded when i crossed off my name on the pieces of mail, and they took my name off the mail box. Lesson learned do not fight with the mail people.