Books to read.

Books essential to read during before or during pregnancy:

Childbirth without Fear: The Principles and Practice of Natural Childbirth by Grantly Dick-Read

Pushed by Jennifer Block

Hypnobirthing the Mongan Method

All of these books state that there is no need for pain during childbirth by using proven methods of relaxation and a stress free environment. It’s a naturally occurring event. Something that is inevitable (the kid can’t stay in there forever). I choose to have a natural drug free childbirth and give my child the best chance possible for life in the world. I may be doing this completely alone but i am not going to let it bother me and be a stronger person for baby bear in the long run.


Sleep Schedules and Vacation 144.

I’ve stayed up till just about now the past two nights playing Assasin’s Creed II

I refused to celebrate New Years as i sat with Abby while she watched me as i ninjaed bad guys. She is obviously a peace keeping dog and leaves during the gory parts.

I always have trouble with new years resolutions and usually the resolution is not to have one. Not to put pressure on myself for something i will forget. But this year i am forging ahead with baby bear who i will officially meet in May and if i was to really define what my resolution would be, it would start with finishing this next semester (uh whaaat? i’m crazy) Taking the summer off to take care of baby bear. Finding a new place and community college to finish my credits for a BFA. So far the choice are staying in…..

  • Maine…HAHAHA no really don’t want to.
  • Colorado…seems like a good idea but it has it’s hang ups. Although the good is 75% and the bad is 25%. Namely how would i get out there? with Baby Bear, AND the cats? AND my stuff? I guess i could justify some moving cost if i am going to school there. But still why must moving be so SO expensive. And finding a place there? and touring the school? I learned my lesson with that a long time ago…ALWAYS go tour the campus even if it’s just for one class. But a flight costs 500$ and that would be my moving money. Fuck being broke. Buddy Passes? Anybody anybody? I’ll send you cookies and something cool?
  • California…Meh…it’s warm I can prepare myself for Australia weather.
  • Mystery location yet to reveal itself.

I don’t want to get stuck in a rut and i feel that there is a great chance i can. So i’m going to forge ahead this year one step at a time, one day at a time and make things work. That’s what i have always been good at is finding ways to just get through.


I will call this the second draft of an earlier post, This more clearly states what i was trying to get across the first time. I would also like to say before hand that this is not an attack on women or their birth preferences or more so our lack of choices. This is just my thought process, how i sort things out and come to a conclusion. My thesis is this. Given the advances in modern medicine and society why is birth regressing into a hospital having total control over a woman’s body?

So, I started reading this book. I was browsing the library trying to find books to read so i could properly educate myself on the finer points of mother hood. As if i would somehow find them in the pages of a book. This book, the one below I found to be severely troubling. It’s a biased book swinging toward home birth and stating that most of the time the medical community is out to get you. Acknowledging that doctors look for ways to scare you into inducing your labor which only leads to a “cascade of interventions” and prolonged labor or c-section. Ranging from failure to progress to inducing to pain medication all leaves women bedridden, the most unnatural way to birth. All this is backed up with very factual information from reliable medical sources.  I wish this was a lie and that doctors don’t push to induce at their convenience and have nurses actively manage your labor but it’s a solid truth. It’s not about me choosing a preference or stating what i want to happen for my birth. I’m talking about whats actually happening everyday in hospitals across the country. I can only arm myself with knowledge and go from there. That’s the plan. A safe natural labor with no medical interventions is still just as safe. I’m aware of the word risk and the fear asociated with it. We cannot plan for things to happen but solely roll with the punches!

From Publishers Weekly

According to writer and editor Block (Our Bodies, Ourselves), “the United States has the most intense and widespread medical management of birth” in the world, and yet “ranks near the bottom among industrialized countries in maternal and infant mortality.” Block shows how, in transforming childbirth into a business, hospitals have turned “procedures and devices developed for the treatment of abnormality” into routine practice, performed for no reason than “speeding up and ordering an unpredictable…process”; for instance, the U.S. cesarean section rate tripled in the 1970s, and has doubled since then. Block looks into a growing contingent of parents-to-be exploring alternatives to the hospital-and the attendant likelihood of medical intervention-by seeking out birthing centers and options for home-birth. Unfortunately, obstacles to these alternatives remain considerable-laws across the U.S. criminalizing or severely restricting the practice of midwifery have led the trained care providers to practice underground in many states-while tort reform has done next to nothing to lower malpractice insurance rates or improve hospital birthing policies. This provocative, highly readable expose raises questions of great consequence for anyone planning to have a baby in U.S., as well as those interested or involved in women’s health care.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. –This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Giving the gift anyone can use!

Give The Gift Anyone Can Use – Gift Cards From American Express

by Kristin Lesney on December 20, 2009


Giveaway Ends Dec. 24th

What’s the best last minute gift? What’s the one gift you know everyone is going to love? Gift cards! Thi is why I believe the American Express Gift Cards are the perfect last minute, and all around gift. American Express Gift Cards come in denominations of $25, $50, $100, and $200, and are available for purchase online at, and at over 70,000 retailers nationwide.

Since the American Express Gift Cards can be used anywhere at any time they make the ultimate last minute gift. Or the gift idea when you don’t know what else to buy. I also love the idea of making gift baskets and putting gift cards in them. It’s the one thing you know will be  hit, and make a great addition to any gift basket.

Check out to purchase or for more information. Gift cards make great last minute gifts


What dreams may come.

the 2010 UppaBaby Vista.If i was walking around Portland with this mean machine I know i would turn some heads. I’d be the best promoter for this company! YEP!

is probably just out of my grasp. I will keep on with my quest. With living feeling monumentally overwhelming and everything just has this swift swirling motion, a malstrom, an amalgamation of stress. Swirling down, if only it was as pretty as this sink. I could totally make one of these. Easily. Besides the faucet. Maybe i should just become rich selling awesome sinks?


Holidays are stressful.

I have been pretty bummed about peoples reactions to my choice to have a natural hypnobabies birth. While i agree that things do not always go as planned, and induced labor is a lot different from a natural labor. An actively managed labor where i’d be forced to stay in bed hooked up to an IV and monitor is not natural. It’s not a comfortable position or natural position to birth in. It’s just more convenient for the doctor.

it’s all just very frustrating. I’m a woman and I should have options. Does it feel that way? no.


Dreams you don’t want to let go.

I was at my apartment but there was another leak in a pipe. I was running around trying to find my landlord and ended up in some basement. Where i ran into him the one, myyyy person. It felt like this incredible wave of happiness.  Roughly my height with a calm disposition and dark brown eyes. Sporting winter clothes and a neatly trimmed yet somewhat scruffy beard. I don’t remember how i did but we ended up spinning each other on the floor till we were dizzy for fun. Don’t ask me why. He was holding me in a hug when my landlord walked up to us having finally found me to say that there was indeed a leak and that they were fixing the pipe. In the mean time the boy and I decided to learn how to drive. I was the first one to go, the instructor a middle aged balding man did not believe me when i was saying that the car was broken. The automatic was rolling backwards down a hill while it was in drive. It just kept getting worse and the boy had disappeared from the back seat. I decided to bike to where we were going to meet in hopes that he would be there. But there was this really annoying girl harassing me and my bike seat was crooked so biking was also a battle. We ended up at this convenience store at the bottom of a hill.